I’m just not a confrontational person, so when things started heating up last night, I decided to have a cup of tea and watch something funny. While waiting for my water to boil, I eyed a bottle of wine Allison had brought home to use in a recipe. I haven’t partaken of the spirits in years, but I thought about politics, and decided they could drive a man to drink.
Next thing I know, I’m on the couch watching WKRP in Cincinnati with my favorite snowman mug filled to his scarf with ‘Award Winning’ wine. Not sure what the award was for. Maybe, ‘Award winning wines under $8’ or ‘Award winning wines grown with hydroponic grapes in Fargo’ or ‘Award winning wines in aisle 4 at Walmart. Anyway, it seemed nice, with a fruity bouquet and a hint of ‘nuttiness’, but that could have been the porcelain cup.
About six dollars into that bottle, I decided to watch Episode 7, Turkeys away! That, my friends, is arguably the best 25 minutes in television history. I laughed, I cried. It was an emotional roller coaster. When Mr. Carlson said, “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly”, I nearly fell off the couch.
Frosty looked at me, a little purple stain on his carrot nose, and said, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I said, “You’re right, I’m going to bed.” I forgot the bedroom is 200 yards from the couch, uphill, and slightly tilted. I braced my left arm on the wall and inched upwards. Once in a while, I’d stop and wildly wave my right arm in big circles. Mercifully, I reached the bedroom, but someone replaced my bed with a giant tilt-a-whirl.
I did fall asleep, but Allison must have found the empty bottle and been horribly put out that I drank her ‘Award winning wine’, because based on how I feel, she must have tied me to the pickup and drug me across the pasture.
The lesson-Don’t drink with snowmen on election night. Otherwise, did I miss anything?
Farmer Dan's Food For Thought 