It was dark!

I try to share my hard earned wisdom in the form of fatherly advice to my boys. I share it at cross country practice with Tyler. With Tyler, it’s more brotherly advice, from a much, much older brother…..crap, that took a wrong turn. Anyway, I tell him more stories than he needs to hear, but I’ve got so much experience in what not to do, I feel he benefits.

This week is marital advice, and since it was such good advice, I thought I’d share it with everyone. We were hosting a grade school basketball tournament and I was sent to clear the kids off the weight deck. There can be no youthful shenanigans on the deck. When the kids were gone, I started shutting off lights. I noticed my lovely bride over by the door, foot up on the wrestling mat, bent over tying her shoe. I know you ladies don’t understand this, and we certainly don’t have time to address the male of the species, but I suddenly had an urge to pursue my own youthful shenanigans on the deck. In stealth mode, I reached my objective undetected. I was just about to commence said shenanigans, when she stood up and looked at me.

I stared into the eyes of a COMPLETE STRANGER. My hands were millimeters from a sexual harassment charge. I made a big sweeping motion with my arms and ran my hands through my hair, mostly to try and hide my face. I bolted out the door and flew down the stairs. I sprinted into the commons area and slid to a stop in front of my actual lovely bride. “You’re not upstairs!” She gave me a quizzical look. “You’re supposed to be upstairs, you can’t just leave my unsupervised like that!” Marital lesson —- Know your backsides, and, um, get a yearly eye exam.