A full day of small town fall festival fun can be exhausting. Breakfast, parade, barbecue in the park, ice cream social, car show, and other activities make for a long day. In many places throughout the day and especially at the dance between the bars, the German Kool-aid flows like the two rivers that meander past our little town. Several years ago, I had spent all day Saturday enjoying the festivities, but not the liquid ones.
I had helped with the dance and at about 1 am I headed out to change water. That won’t mean anything to some, but believe me, others know how one feels about changing water in the middle of the night by the end of August. I was already suffering from sleep deprivation and I had just spent all of Saturday on the go. I was a prime candidate for a UFO encounter.
I found myself in the middle of the cornfield, late at night, eerily quiet except for the rush of water through the pipe and into the rows. I always enjoy the stars, searching for constellations and satellites. A bright light moving slowly back and forth above me was not what I had expected. A chill ran through me and I began to try to convince myself it was an airplane or the Air Force, and it would be long gone when I got the set changed. It wasn’t. Still there, still moving, back and forth. I made my way back to the pickup, and I don’t know if any of you have tried this, but I willed the motor to be as quiet as possible, and hoped my tires maybe wouldn’t touch the ground on the way home. It sounded like a Sherman tank driving out of the field. I knew whatever it was would notice me now.
I got about halfway home and decided to see if it was still following me. It was. Still there, still moving, still bright. So I called the Sheriff.
“Hey, this is Dan Huebner, has anyone reported a bright light moving around in the sky?” Just a word of advice, if you ever call the sheriff with a stupid question, don’t tell them who you are.
“No, you’re the first one tonight. Where are you?”
“I’m south of Hershey changing water.” There’s a pause and I think I hear stifled laughter, but I’m pretty focused on the light that seems even brighter and more active.
“Have you been at the Fall Festival all day?”
“Yeah, I just came from the street dance.”
“We’ll have someone check it out.” It took me years to realize that was dispatcher code for “Buddy, you started drinking at the parade this morning and you, my friend, need to go to bed.”
I got home and it was still up there. Still moving, back and forth. By now I’ve added a creepy aura around it and it has definitely changed positions in the night sky. I run in and drag Allison out of bed.
“Do you see it?” I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when she said “YES!”
I needed a second opinion, so I called brother Steve, who was staying at Mom’s. Why I thought he would answer his phone in the middle of the night is beyond me, but he did.
“Do you want to see a UFO?”
He was on his way, with my mom in tow. Allison and I were out in the driveway watching it when mom and Steve got there. Steve got out and looked with amazement at our mysterious light. Mom slowly got out of the car and shuffled around to the front so she could lean on the fender and look up. There we were, staring up at the UFO, directly above the farm. It was still there, still moving, and still bright. The hair on the back of my neck had been standing up for about an hour now.
My mom looks right at me and says, “Oh, Hell, don’t you read the papers? That’s Mars. It’s trajectory is the closest it gets to Earth’s. It’s so close, the atmosphere refracts the light giving the illusion of movement.”
She got back in the car and slammed the door. Needless to say, they went home and Allison went back to bed. I stood there, staring wistfully up at the Red planet, watching it bob and weave and shine. I realized, standing there alone, that if a UFO was actually looking for some sort of intelligent life form in my driveway that night, all they would find was the dog.
Farmer Dan's Food For Thought 