Christmas Cooking

A friend has put together a cooking show on Facebook, ‘Big Al’s Kitchen’. She makes wonderful goodies and gives step by step directions for do it yourselfers. She’s kept it fairly simple, but it’s probably still a little above my abilities. I noticed, though, that the Christmas video recipes both included a bit of alcohol. It seemed fitting for the year 2020. Christmas spirits could go a long way in improving Christmas spirit. Her creations were made to be gifts and I thought, “What a great idea for spreading Christmas cheer.”

I pulled an old Betty Crocker cook book off the shelf and began perusing. There were so many cookies, candies, breads, cakes and other goodies, I didn’t know where to begin. In the back was an entire section titled ‘Gifts of food’. Perfect. What I learned next was surprising. Years ago, the bleak winters caused even dear Betty to turn to alcohol to deal with the hustle, bustle, and rush of the season. What peaked my interest most though, were the recipes with alcohol were easy. So it began.

Winter cordials were first on the list. I remembered my Grandmother having a cordial in a teeny tiny stemmed glass, no bigger than a thimble. That sounded like fun. A dessert drink to warm a person up on a cold winter’s night. I mixed up three batches; apricot-cherry, cranberry, and coffee. After two weeks, I poured them into cute little bottles and, voila, syrupy goodness with a kick.

After the success of the cordials, I felt it was time to expand my creative and edible Christmas creations. I had some brandy left over from project number one, and, as luck would have it, there was a recipe for ‘Brandy Balls’. It seemed a logical step in the direction of making some of Big Al’s recipes, but still kept me safely away from the stove. They are your basic, no bake cookie. Crushed vanilla wafers, pecans, cocoa, sugar and brandy. Mix it together in little balls, refrigerate, gift…piece of cake.

The mixing part went well. The rolling into little balls is where it started to head south. The consistency of the dough was similar to Elmer’s wood glue and it was just as sticky. I would pick enough dough out of the bowl to create a one inch ball, but I’d end up with industrial strength chocolate adhesive on the ends of my fingers and palms of my hands. I’d carefully place the completed ball in a Tupperware dish and then try to scrape the rest off my hands. I shouldn’t tell you this, since they were gifts, but the most effective way to get it off was to scrape it off with my teeth. I made a few this way, then had an epiphany. I’ll bet if I add more brandy it would be less sticky. I was wrong, but I really didn’t mind, in fact, I was beginning to enjoy it.

By the way, I love chocolate. Not just your average ‘love chocolate’, no, I LOVE chocolate, and this chocolate was starting to taste fantastic. What it needed though, was a little coffee to wash it down. I was too sticky to brew fresh coffee, but I had a bottle of coffee liqueur right in front of me. Close enough. After a couple thimbles full of coffee cordial, I made a tiny cup out of the brandy ball dough. Do any of you remember that bubble gum with the liquid center when we were kids? Freshen-up. Yep, kind of the same sensation. Pretty soon I was just eating the chocolate balls and washing them down.

I tossed back a rather large thimble full of cordial and headed to the piano. I gave the dogs a Christmas concert to remember. Merry Christmas, Darling, A Marshmallow World, Let it Snow, and finally, What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve. Jag was less than impressed and asked if HE could have some brandy.

The net results of my time were four brandy balls, sticky piano keys, and a headache. I don’t think Big Al needs to worry about competition from ‘Kitchen Kapers with Farmer Dan’.